1. |
Fall Back on
03:07
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Stare in disbelief at the weeping trees
letting go of kindred leaves.
The life you’re living encased in secrecy.
Monitor the mind as you’re sitting house
I can barely make you out
your shadow’s not what it used to be.
Hard when what’s left inside
is not enough to satisfy.
Contused by complacency
as you fall back on.
Hard when what’s left inside
is not enough to disguise
the vacancy that lies beneath
as you fall back on.
Sitting near a creek of what once was
Dipping your toe into new seas.
Chilly water fills up to the knee.
Float in the relief of a long gone grief
Seek a shower of ecstasy
But the heat ain’t what it used to be.
Hard when what’s left inside
is not enough to satisfy.
Contused by complacency
as you fall back on.
Hard when what’s left inside
is not enough to disguise
The vacancy that lies beneath
as you fall back on.
Hard to learn from mistake
Ignore the track you always take
The mood displayed is forged and fake.
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2. |
Forgetful Hue
03:32
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Greeting a cold breath, counting every step
You just have to let your heart sit still.
You can’t seem to pinpoint where it hurts.
Tangled in the sea, a sweet yet sullen beach.
You can’t seem to let yourself come down
Always catching rain from cloud nine.
When the dullness won’t improve
And the soil you stand on is rotten to its roots.
Your actions are so often misconstrued
And the lights hit you in the most forgetful hue
You are all wrapped up in the blankest kind of blue.
Slow burn in the brush, embrace the aching crush.
You just have to let yourself be still
Close your eyes and wait patiently.
A light starts to leak through a tunnel vision street
You just have a hard time letting go.
Start to feel your breathing go slow.
Burning up in a briar of bright light
Something didn’t make it through to you
Strapped down around a concerning crowded room
All wondering where they went wrong with you.
While you were all wrapped up in the blankest kind of blue
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3. |
Tagline
02:56
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Hung out to dry, a sultry July
A pain too acute to describe.
The day blue burns view
The sun can’t reach you.
You’re dead set on fogging up the light.
A tagline of loneliness:
“It doesn’t bother much” you’re used to it
A tagline of loneliness, eventually got over it.
Daydreams flood you
Of bad times seen through.
Unconcerned with making it out
Keep the grief close.
Let no one near it.
Lock it up safely inside.
A tagline of loneliness:
“It doesn’t bother much” you’re used to it
A tagline of loneliness, eventually got over it.
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4. |
The Drown
02:39
|
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Flying close like Icarus to the morning sun
Hoping it’s hot enough to ignore this one.
Shaky hands. You’re a mess, can’t even bother getting dressed.
Dive back in to see you again, banking on the drown.
One side conversation to an old picture.
Felt bad but it’s the only one you still had.
You talk a bit, but your heart’s still feeling sick.
Feel the need to dive back in, banking on the drown.
Close your eyes and dive back in, banking on the drown.
Fly off the ledge
Floating down, arms outstretched.
We dive right in, though we both can’t swim,
Banking on the drown.
We dive right in, turns out you can swim
Banking on the drown.
We dove right in, turned out you could swim
Leaving me to drown.
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5. |
Finer Points
02:55
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Tried to wake a sleeping fish
Make good of a dried well wish
Know no better, tied and tethered
On whether what will come.
Deep dive into a shallow pool
Sitting steady on fainting stool.
Best intentions sway and swoon
Your failings fill the pool.
Finer points
Are sharper than a knife.
Duller dots
Blink faster than you’d like.
Ice cold, hot coal
The burn’s old.
A screen door on a sinking ship
Dryer lint on flickering wick
Electric wire, turned funeral pyre
For the bird that left its home.
Consume poison from a splintered glass
Awaiting change from a time well past.
Use four words to describe yourself:
“Half empty, all alone.”
Finer points
Are sharper than a knife.
Duller dots
Blink faster than you’d like.
Ice cold, hot coal
The burn’s old.
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6. |
Inclement Plane
02:50
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Never seen a place so sensitive to light.
Wall to wall is out of sight.
The painting peels, housing mistakes
Staining secrets shut.
Never heard a word, a sentence or a phrase
Spoken with an ounce of life.
The days seemed like they’d never start
While night made sure to come.
The inclement plane is so hard to explain
to all the ants on the ground.
The inclement plane is so hard to sustain
with no help around.
Ray had made the claim
that the pouring rain would stop.
Yet, it has been several seven years
I wake up still feeling the drops.
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7. |
Everyone Else
03:23
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Coasting by fifty five
Feeling seventy seven.
Five lanes compress to one
Thick air in Autumn congestion.
You figured you could rest your eyes
If only for a second.
The metal crash, the windshield cracks
Never made your destination.
Now everyone feels to blame for
The terrible thing you have done.
You felt it all at once and now you’re
Just like everyone else.
Making light of the bad times
Tied up in bedroom shine
Nervous friend, your helping hand
“I do this all the time.”
It’s just like how you heard it’d be
The numbness comes on hastily
But for some reason breathing stops
Guess that’s how it has to be.
Now everyone feels to blame for
The terrible thing you have done.
You felt it all at once and now you’re
Just like everyone else.
The tragic story told fits the mold
So please ignore the proof.
That’s how the story goes
According to everyone else,
An accident just doesn’t read like a textbook tragedy.
Please stifle your disbelief to be
Just like everyone else.
Now you’re just like everyone else.
Oh no, just like everyone else
Now we’re just like everyone else.
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8. |
West Century
02:16
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|
Living in West Century.
Bask in borrowed time
Detach from the outside world
As the shaking stiff unwind.
Get lost staring at nothing
Hear the fluorescent fixture humming to itself..
Speak up to the sharp sound
Of a crowded room with no one else around.
Tangled in a tree of monotony
Smoking around the fallen leaves.
“If you don’t feel like talking, it’s perfectly fine
But at least play pretend.”
Today in West Century
it reeks of passing time.
Feel the tightness in your empty chest
As you’re forced to explain your mind.
“I get lost staring at nothing
And feel the panic parade creeping up again.”
The guilt just seems to hang there
Taunting him with a great wave of shame.
Floating around, wishing you’re someone else.
Coming to terms with the crashing down .
Try to take it on a positive spin
Or at least play pretend.
Mostly staring at nothing
Five minutes deep in spilling out your guts.
Now everyone’s watching
You’re on the floor, opening up old cuts.
That’s how you play pretend.
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9. |
Kissing Sideways
03:51
|
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Chose not to heed the warning
Of the storm incoming.
It’s been awhile since you wet your feet
and ignored the roaring.
Retreat six feet
under common ground.
Aiming for a head on crash
will surely wreck the past.
Hunting for a better route
to circumnavigate the proof
Lean in and feel the clasp
of the oncoming collapse .
Avoiding the head on crash
by kissing sideways.
Funny how the forbidden
can seem so alluring
How easily the roof caves in
once you notice the pouring.
Retreat six feet
under common ground.
Easy to pretend they didn’t warn you.
How convenient that the warnings never reached you.
They all found it odd you didn’t listen.
Well, the real truth is you didn’t want to.
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10. |
Lost in Before
02:39
|
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|
Fled to a sunshine state
Left on an opaque plain.
The worst, you heard, is still yet to come
nightly reminder ignites the run.
A weak heart is set on stuck
and hope’s lost in before.
Tears swept under the rug
Seems like they’ll never come.
As you watched the rubber starting to run
Hot pursuit, could not keep up.
He begs, “please return to me”
But it’s all lost in before.
All lost in before.
The first one hurt but the second’s worse
Keep on pushing it back.
Press into familiar skin
Unsure when you’ll touch it again.
Drive with the blinders on
Assailing so serene.
Face is constructing a salty stream.
A baleful black takes over the scene
While love bathes in a vitamin sheen.
The worst, you heard, is still yet to come
Daily reminder renders you stunned.
Holding on to a longing gone
It’s all lost in before.
All lost in before.
You’re lost in before.
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11. |
Blankest Blue
02:58
|
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|
They said you would never amount to anything
But look at at all the space you take up, getting in everybody’s way.
Friendly with the sidewalk, to whom you tell your woes.
Sit plaintive under tree limbs, conversing with your ghosts.
“Color me with your blankest kind of blue.
Mother moon, conceal me in the most forgetful hue.”
Wonder if it’s better or worse when you’re behind
If you saunter in the stars or lie on bloody knives.
Think of all that’s missing and kiss that life goodbye
Claimed to be sleeping, but really you just lied.
“Color me with your blankest kind of blue.
Mother moon conceal me in the most forgetful hue.”
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12. |
Ceiling of Stars
04:19
|
|||
|
Sneak in through the window seat
The sun streaks through the scene.
The hours pass through the pane of glass
reflecting you on me.
Lying back pointing up at your ceiling of stars.
Wonder if you’re making new shapes where you are
Thought about calling out your name but you’re much too far
Can’t escape the shape you made, looking up in the backyard.
Curled up in a mess of sheets
listening to the hissing rain.
I start to smell you on my shirt
and deny your effect on me.
Lying back pointing up at your ceiling of stars
Wonder if you’re making new shapes where you are
Thought about calling out your name but you’re much too far
Can’t escape the shape you made, all alone in the backyard.
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